Day 19. It was good to hear that F M, who is also on day 19 in the challenge, had a lousy day today, especially since I have been having some pretty crummy times in class lately. She’s a roller-derby queen. I think her real name is M. She doesn’t like it as much as her derby name, Fannie Mayhem, which, you have to admit, is pretty cool.
I liked her the first moment I saw her. She has a beautiful smile, great teeth, very white, which she flashes a lot at you. Her face lights up when she speaks, and she looks at you directly, usually with a smile. Plus she is very frank. She announced to all of us in the locker room in the very first week that she had to do this challenge because she has gained so much weight since she started skating. And then she told us exactly how much she weighs, and how old she is, and other things, like what it’s like to be in the roller derby.
Anyway, she’s great. And it is great to be able to say to each other, today is day x…. But I think she’s going to stop at Day 30, which will be hard for me, since I’ve taken the challenge for 100 days in a row.
I had to do it because I’m pretty lazy, and would come up with all kinds of reasons not to go if I hadn’t publicly announced that I was going for the big run. My name is up on the poster board in the studio, and every day I get to put a sticker to mark off my accomplishment. Since most of the names up there are followed by 90 or 100 or more stickers, my little run of 19 lady bugs, happy faces, gold coins, and penguins looks pretty short. But it’s longer than it was a week ago.
As I’ve probably mentioned, I’m doing this primarily out of curiosity. To see if my body will change, as everyone assures me it will, to see HOW it will change, and to see if I can do something for 100 days straight. It’s a long time for me to stay in one place. I can’t even leave for the weekend.
What else. I’m starting to make friends. Mayhem and four other women from the roller derby signed up at the same time, all on a groupon. They’re quite a bit younger than I am. I like imagining how it might be to be a roller-derby skater, at my age, roaring around the rink, smashing into women, getting all my aggression out. I think I’d like it a lot. I wouldn’t shave the sides of my head, as Mayhem has, but I’d enjoy drawing attention to myself in other ways, by wearing some ridiculous pink outfit, for example.
What’s interesting is finding out who all shows up every single day. A certain solidarity builds up over time. What’s more interesting is that the people who do show up every day are not all incredibly skinny. Some of them are quite round, even rounder and fatter than I am.
Maybe because you really do get incredibly sweaty–I mean the sweat streaming off you patters on your mat like rain, and your face gets really red in the heat, if you have a complexion like mine, and you have to pull your hair back into a pretty tight pony tail to keep it from driving you mad–and because it is impossible to look good doing this, the practice does not appeal to princesses or glamour girls. Many of us may indeed look glamorous (and yes, the teachers certainly do) after getting cleaned up. But you don’t see the kind of women you often see in gyms who appear to be wearing brand-new, tight, sexy little outfits every time they show up, and who actually wear make-up on the floor. It would be severely stupid to wear mascara or foundation to bikram.
OK, some of the yoginis flaunt their incredibly thin bodies in incredibly tiny shorts and bras, but that is not because they’re showing off but rather because they want to have a little fabric next to their skin as possible. And plenty of the fleshier women wear the same sort of thing. It’s not pretty.
I am vain, so I suffer the extra cloth. I just can’t stand to look at my stomach muffining out over my shorts just yet. Maybe I’ll get there. Probably not.
O, and, I’m not really losing weight. Maybe a pound. Maybe six pounds. I was scarily over-fat just before starting, and dropped five really fast. But they were the kind of pounds that you pack on in one day and lose right away. Water weight? I don’t know. I am down one pound from the amount my body seems to have stabilized at for the past year.
Got to run now to see my incredibly thin therapist.