I’m really glad to know that there are readers of this blog, but I am disappointed in one or more of you. One of you has gone running to someone else at my yoga studio–never named here–to complain that I have written “disturbing things.” The person who received this complaint then had the nerve to tell me that I should “watch what I say” in my blog.
It is not as though this person possesses the authority, institutional, moral or otherwise, to tell me what I may or may not post here.
It was irritating enough that this person felt empowered to do so. More annoying was that he or she had not even bothered to read it, and had essentially agreed to carry out the malicious intentions of the coward who wanted to shut me up in the first place.
Had he or she actually investigated my blog, he or she would no doubt have been as hard-pressed as I am to discern what elements of which postings are “disturbing” enough to be censored. Was it that I mentioned that there are naked women in the locker room?
I haven’t attacked anyone’s character. I haven’t named any names, except to praise teachers who, in any case, are already well-known and well-praised. What I have done is chronicle my journey through 100 classes of bikram yoga in so many days. I have discussed poses I find difficult and described what I have enjoyed about the practice. I have commented on my own weak, petty, and competitive thoughts, and attempted to think through them to stronger, more generous behaviors. I will continue to do so.
Most of the people I have met at the studio are wonderful, warm, open-hearted and humble. Every one of them possesses a unique set of skills, strengths, and capabilities. I like it that not everyone in the room is young, toned, and thin, and I love the genuine friendliness of the people who are young, toned, and thin, to those of us who don’t look quite as beautiful as we once did. I feel lucky and happy to join all the people I’ve met in this studio–the young and the old, the blubbery and the skeletal, the limber and the stiff, the serious yoginis and occasional passers-through, in my practice every day. I’m frankly shocked to know that one of them slandered me behind my back.
I don’t write this blog to please anyone but myself. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. If you insist on tormenting yourself, then at least have the decency to comment, publicly or privately, on what you find “disturbing” here. Have the courage to take responsibility for your response, however negative, to my writing.